End a relation ship and start new one

by Raed BFD Thu Jan 15, 2009 6:27 am

The end of a relationship can be a very
painful thing, whether it was a mutual decision, you initiated it, or
your former boyfriend or girlfriend suggested you break up. You may
have invested a great deal of yourself in that other person. You may
have thought you were going to spend the rest of your lives together.
You may find that you are losing not only a boyfriend or girlfriend,
but someone you considered a best friend.
Grieving the Relationship
It
is important to remember that the end of any relationship gives us
cause to grieve. Breaking up with someone is like experiencing a death
– the death of the relationship, of you being loved by that person, of
your hopes and dreams for the future with that person. This sounds very
bleak, and it is important to remember that it is also the start of new
things for you. I say that breaking up is a death so you remember that
it is okay to grieve.
Grieving is a process. You might feel fine one day. "Finally!" You think. "I am over
her!" Then you hear "your song" on the radio, or your friends talk
about her, or you find an old note from her...and you feel hurt and sad
and even a little bitter all over again. Give yourself time. Permit
yourself to cry if you need to cry. Do not, however, dwell in your
misery – playing "your song" over and over again, or pulling out the
old box of love letters every day.
Looking to the Future
The
end of your relationship is also a new beginning. A new beginning for
what? That is up to you! You have freedom that you may not have had
before when in the relationship. Take a pottery class or get involved
in a regional sports team. Meet and interact with new people. Reflect
upon your relationship and ask yourself, "What have I learned from it?"
Take
yourself out on dates! Discover the value of quiet, of being alone. You
may even start a journal and find a favorite little cafe to go and sit
and write for hours. Appreciate saying, "A table for one PLEASE,